I Tarkov Poorly

 Goals  Survive Be More Aggressive Kill Scavs Progress: Upward Raid #10 Loadout: same as last. AKS-74U, mags with mix of BP/PS/PRS ammo. Ulley rig, sling, meds.  Water and Car Kit in Pouch. Insurance: Not Necessary (insured from previous raid) Started in Storage Area, next to customs house.  Worked way across river. As I finished crossing the road near Sniper Roadblock, a two stack started crossing in the other direction down near the intersection. We saw each other. They ceased crossing, I finished. But now we were both on the same side.  I hid behind a container, listening.  If they were flanking, they were quiet.  Peeked roadside and then crossed back and when down near smugglers boat. Heavy gunfire near RUAF Roadblock, so assuming that's them.  Crossed back.   Was moving very quietly behind bus depot when I heard heavy foot steps stomping along the fenceline. I turned, waited, and Scav came around the corner. We traded fire. He stepped back into the bushes, I didn't have go

Received a cryptic message on the defunct USEC channel.  "New Years Present" was all it said with some coordinates for an in-person meet.  Now what?  My first instinct was to blow it off. It's probably some corporate bullshit, like release-from-liability papers they want me to sign. But aren't they out of business? I mean, if not, I wouldn't be stuck here.   I couldn't help getting my hopes up. Maybe they were going to send me home.   So I went. As I walked there, I kept telling myself not to be optimistic. As an employer, USEC never failed to disappoint, why should this be any different?  But I didn't expect "surreal", so they well and truly surprised me.  "Hey, mate! Merry Christmas".  Corporate guy with an American accent talking like he was an Australian.  Poser? Or maybe he had just done a lot of time in southeast Asia?  Who am I to criticize?  Me whose mirror reflection is "going soviet" before my very eyes.  "So, m

Ostensible Goal: kill scavs If Being Completely Honest Goal:   don't die Map: Customs I have survived my last two raids (out of seven).  Going for the triple. Raid 8 Loadout: same as before (MP5 submachine gun, class 3 armor, ears, meds, rig and sling.  Car medkit and water in pouch. Insurance: none needed. Spawned in trench between customs house and storage. One of my least favorite spawns.   Moved up to gap in wall around customs house front parking. There is often a scav standing guard, but nothing. There was, however, a player already ascending the stairs to the directors office. Is there a spawn _in_ the customs house? I must have arrived late.    That player will be coming back down the stairs, and then he's most likely going to come to the front entrance and head away to cross the river using the gap in the far wall. I set up, using the gap near me as cover.  But then there were running footsteps behind me - my surprise was about to be third-partied. I jumped into a bush

I can't believe I've been so blind. All these changes have muddled my thinking.  Prapor isn't only giving weapons to me, a stranger,  he's handing out weapons to everyone, and acting the part of the loveable grandpa.  But how and why?  Is he trying to buy everyone's loyalty? Is he building an army? Is it just to cause unrest and instability?   Or is it like Gilette razors, give the razors away but charge for the blades? Are ammunition sales where he makes all his money?  Except the last AK-74U he gave me was loaded with BP.  I may ditch it, but I'll keep the ammo.   And why does he keep saying "So, have you figured out what's what yet?" every time he gifts me weapons?  I approached this straight on. "No, I haven't figured out anything, I just want to get out of Tarkov alive. Why are you giving me all this weaponry and gear?"    But he was evasive. And where is he getting all this gear? Did his goons stumble onto a NATO armory? But eve

Since (re)accepting this mission from Prapor to kill scavs on Customs I've been on four raids. Died in every single one, and 0 Exp in more than one.  Not good. So today, the goal is simple: Don't Fucking Die. If that means running and crying when a Scav shouts at me, so be it. Raid #5 Loadout: Class 4 Body armor, headset, VPO-209 with FMJ, sling, rig, helmet. Insurance: 22K Spawned above river, customs side, south.  Sunny late morning. Worked my way toward bridge. Heard a player stomping about and went quiet and into a bush. I was between the two land bridges. Player passed me, but I couldn't tell if he was north or south so I let him go by.  Peeked both bridges, no sight of him.  Continued north, crossed the river on the trash bridge near where the smuggler sometimes has his boat.  As I approached the road above, a battle broke out on the road. Grenades and auto-fire. I tucked into some bushes to wait it out. It got quiet. Waited some more.  Might be a good time to catch a

The guy who hires me to go and kill random people is acting sentimental and caring. The guy who overcharges for used beat-up firearms is passing me military grade shit like were besties passing notes and gum in class.   "So, have you figured out what's what yet?" he says to me and hands me an AK-74 and some body armor. Like he's my father trying to help me out.  And then he does it again, gifting me a VPO-209.  And a third time with an AK-101 and some helmets. What the hell is going on? I really prefer the old Prapor, who I didn't trust and didn't trust me.  I know he's going to call in a favor, and I'm certain I won't like it. Why me? He barely knows me. Though the one thing he does know about me is that I'm not cut out for this. The average schoolgirl would probably beat me in a fight. Am I being setup to be some patsy?  I must be Lee Harvey Oswald awkwardly posing with a mail order 6.5 x 52mm Carcano. So who's the Kennedy? My stash is ov

No reader has clamored for an update, but since 0 is a significant portion of my readership, I felt obligated to provide one. I am nearly done surmounting three different technical issues: - the cheap earphones I use have the Left/Right backwards!! Discovered by one of those stereo test YouTube movies. Solution: use the better set of earphones. - Latest Win Update is making Tarkov not run full screen anymore on my second monitor (one backed by GPU). Solution: use windowed view.   - From my location, I discovered there is one Tarkov server that has a great ping (20) and all the others not-so-great (90+).  I am trying to just use the one server. Unfortunately, this means very long wait times for games.  I gave up after 15 minutes for a daytime raid and had to quit after waiting 10 minutes for a nighttime one.     I was able to do a nighttime scav raid on the fast server with little trouble. Spawned in with a shotgun and one (1) shell in it, and no others.  Shot another scav point blank i

 I'm not sure why, but this new wipe is much more difficult. I had no problems killing 7 scavs to complete that first task last wipe. The biggest challenge was _finding_ scavs. But this time, it seems like every scav is a deadshot, killing me in less than a second. And that change seemed to happen when I was working my Woods scav quest. The first three kills were easy and normal. And then every encounter after went south.   It's Christmas, and the lobbies are full of players, and players make everything harder.  Goal: Kill 5 Scavs on Customs Progress: 4 raids, 0 scavs killed. ie. Not Good Raid #2 Loadout: SKS (23K), PS ammo (4.5K), Sling (2K), Meds, No Rig. PACA, Comtec Headphones Insurance: 9.7K Time in Raid: 7 minutes, 36 seconds Exp: 32 Spawned near edge behind power tower. Went to stash underneath tower.  Decided (poorly) to stay there in the corner in the bush for a few minutes, to let other players pass by.  Player ShadowCasting approached crouch walking around the rock (

 I am Level 1 (again). Going into Customs, ostensibly to kill scavs, do some observation. Progress: Not Good. Raid #1: Loadout: SKS-OP with red-dot sight, PS ammo, meds. Sling but no rig.   Spawned on Customs side, south, overlooking river. Moved into cover.  All hell broke loose above, the gunfire up in the customs house and storage was epic. After a minute or two, heavy gunfire broke out across the river, but I couldn't catch sight of anyone.  Stayed put until it quieted down.  Then I went quietly and carefully forward. There was another huge gun-battle around dorms. There was a pile of bodies near the bus-station. I was tempted to look for loot, since it was quiet - but my spider senses said "sniper", so I didn't. Bypassed.  Hit a stash near Gas.  Still quiet. Not a soul, and certainly not a scav.  Went all the way around to the military checkpoint, which was empty. Peeked the opening to the liquid storage containment section and there was a scav. He shouted and we

 Got a message from Prapor, he's giving me a "boost" (his word, not mine). And he sent over an AK-74, an AK-101 and a god-damned Kel-Tec RFB assault rifle! This can't be no strings attached, but he didn't ask for any favors. I was sure he was going to ask me to go kill Jaeger or Putin or something. Instead, he says "everybody calls me Prapor, let's get acquainted."  Like he want us to go out to a movie or dancing?  Introducing himself _again_ plus being overly generous - something is definitely wrong with him. Dementia. He probably had a stroke.  He sent over a SKS-OP too. Something I can put a sight on. I'll take that out next.  I'll set the others aside in case he asks for them back or tries to call in a favor I can't return (e.g. dancing).

Went to gear up today, to continue neutralizing scavs on Woods, but all my weapons were gone!  The SKSes, the Vepr Hunter, even "Ivan" - GONE.  Robbed! I knew I should have put a proper door on this hideout.   But then, as I started to look into what remained of stash I saw an M4A1. Woah - I had never seen one before. Who left this behind?  Then I saw a second one. And then I saw two MP5 submachine guns.  That's when I realized that some levelled player must have taken over my hideout.  No doubt due to its miserable shape, he thought it was abandoned and moved his stuff in.  I wonder what he did with my stuff? Sold it, probably.  Oh shit, what if he's still here?  I scanned around, and no one. There was a bottle of whisky, I took a shot to calm my nerves while I decided what to do next.  I don't want to be here when he comes back, but I don't have any other place to go...maybe one of the campsites on Customs?  The solution, when it finally occurred to me,  was

 Went to see Prapor today. "I see you got my message. I have your insured items right over here, taking up space I could better use for real customers." "Uh, thanks." "You heading out again today? Maybe insurance could cost you not so much." "No, not today. Just picking up the items.  Thanks." "Hmmm" He didn't say anything but I could hear the disappointment in his voice, in his "Hmmm" with three "m"s. I don't know how he knows, but I get a feeling he knows exactly how many scavs I've killed so far (four) since I told him I'd help him out in Woods. And since I deal with him for the insurance, he's got to have a rough idea of how many raids I've been on (eight), and he has an exact count of how many I've claimed the insurance (five).  He's probably wondering how long it's going to take me to neutralize fifteen scavs. I'm wondering the same. Eight raids and only four killed scavs

Goals: - Survive - Kill Scavs (need 12 more) - Unlock Jaeger (if opportunity arises) Progress: - Miserable Raid #1 - 1 minute -  0 Exp Insurance: 10K Time in Raid: 1 minute, 17 seconds. Exp: 0 Healing: 9.5K Loadout: SKS, meds, PACA armor, Rig but no backpack.  Salewa/exit-key/exit-money in pouch Spawned in a depression with a rock on one side, not too far from wall.  Sparse woods and open fields. Not a good location to move from, but not a bad one to stay in.  Players can't approach from behind (wall). Should be able to hear anyone coming from sides. Sit tight, eyes on front.  Most players will push into center, toward lake and mill, don't want to be in front of them.  Not ideal plan, but workable.   But then I did hear a player approaching - and I choked. Froze like a rabbit "please don't see me". I turned to check my open side and I saw myself. Player with the same shitty helmet as me, same shitty SKS as me, looking at me. He started firing, before aiming down s

In addition to "Ivan", the SA-58 FAL I received yesterday, I have two other FALs.  Yes, I, the level 5 noob,  have three FALs taking up 34 cells in my inventory that could be used for something useful.  I am gripped with Gear Fear. I know I suck. If I take one of those into a raid, I'll be killed and will never see the weapon again. That's one advantage of the SKS, no one takes it, so it comes back with insurance. I should just sell them. They would pay for a lot of load-outs.  Though, I'm not sure I can sell "Ivan". And one of the others I built myself from scratch - paying top ruble to Fence for every piece.  Seems lame to sell it for less than I paid to make it. I have taken them out on offline raids to try them out.  Wow! If you want a weapon that'll punch holes in the sky and cause the firmament to crumble, the SA-58 is it.  But if you want to hit something a little lower or a little smaller, it might not be the best choice. Great weapon if you

 I was just beginning a scav run yesterday when I heard footsteps running toward me. I spun around, crouched and around the corner came someone weapon pointed at me.  "Not Today!!" I shouted and unloaded on him.  It took quite a few shots to bring him down, but he never fired back. He finally crumpled, whimpering "Zachem tovarisch?".  I had murdered a fellow scav.   It felt horrible.   But I didn't have time to reflect. More Russian shouting and shots were being fired toward me. I ran. And ran. I fell exhausted cowering in a bush, listening for more shouting or footsteps, but it was clear. I peeked around, trying to figure out where the hell I was. Checked my exfil assignments, preparing for a long gruel across the map. But, as fate would have it, the nearest exfil was less than half a click away. Made my way safely there and shamefacedly left.  No loot. But, the gun I had spawned in with was a FAL! I have named it "Ivan", in memory of its first undese

Spawned near truck on bus route on west side of Woods. No good cover. Worked over to bus-stop (50 meters?), peeked around it and died.    1 shot of M61 (7.63 x 51mm) to head from Butholehero.  He was most likely at the RUAF checkpoint, holding the roads. We must have spawned very close to one another. Insurance: 11.5K   Time In Raid: 1minute, 14 seconds. 7K to heal 0 Exp Probably not my shortest raid.   Mistakes: - should I have assumed there was someone there and peeked more carefully? Successes: - wasn't killed by a scav. Not sure what I could have done differently. No good cover nearby, and pushing into map would be pushing into the clear.  I guess I could have just gone prone in the grass and hoped no one would traipse by. But that seems like paralysis. 

Tarkov is brutal, and it's especially brutal to beginners.    In the game you have some amount of money, which you can choose to spend on weaponry, ammunition, body armor, medicine. But as a beginner, even if you have money, your access to these things is extremely limited.  Many a levelled player will sagely intone to us noobs "It's not the gun, it's the ammunition."   "I never use anything less than M80."    Really?  You don't say! ... and fuck you. The only M80 ammo I've ever got close to was buried in my stomach right before I died.  And don't get me started on the weapons.  Even if I find some M80 ammunition, what will I run it in? An SA-58 ? A Vepr Hunter?  I can't buy those. As a beginner, what are my options? Besides a couple pistols, there are five that I can buy with cash:  Kedr PP-91 SMG, the Mosin bolt action rifle,  the SKS hunting rifle, the TOZ-106 shotgun, and the AKS-74U assault rifle.   Modding weapons is a big part of t

 My current loadout is minimal; SKS, ammo, meds.  In my pouch I have a key to ZB014 (for east bunker exit), 3000 rubles (for south exit), and a Salewa.   No rig. No backback.   Goal: Kill Scavs. Progress: not going well. Yesterday: 12k insurance. started near scav cabin on east side. Exchanged a few shots with a scav. I didn't kill him, but he hurt me bad.  I healed a little and PKd a bit, limping.  No need to press the fight. Walked across woods heading toward west exits. Ran into another scav, who started shooting. Took cover behind tree - fired at him repeatedly, but no kill. He ran.  I continued, limping half speed, vision blurred. Amazingly, was not stopped by any other scavs or players.  Made it to RUAF exfil and exited.  5K to heal.  Fired a total of 16 shots. 0 hits.    +778 Exp.  Mistakes:   - firing while standing without cover. - using all the PK too quickly. Should have saved some for when I needed to cross open ground. Successes: - did better with second scav - stayed

I had purchased Escape from Tarkov and watched a video or two on YouTube. I knew to expect a difficult-to-master game. I also knew that the game was ruthless and exacting. You start with limited equipment and money, and if you die in an online raid all the gear you are carrying is lost. Permanently. To successfully survive a raid you also have to exit it, which means you must make your way across the map to some pre-designated "exit zone". Failure to reach an exfil location means you die...and lose all your stuff.  From the videos I had learned that a map called "Customs" is widely considered the best one for beginners.  Clicking on a few of the map choices I saw that a map called "Woods" is considered "Hard". But "Customs" is considered "Insane".  A bit more clicking revealed those were the only two choices. As I am no fool, I elected to make my first sojourn to Tarkov be an offline raid - which means there are no consequence

It's 2020, the year of Covid and craziness.  Everything is closed, visiting with friends verboten.   I was reading a lot earlier in the year, watching some shows, but for an undisclosed "health reason" reading is becoming less viable, and the shows are wearisome.    So I decided to try my hand at a video game. In years past I enjoyed playing Marathon, Unreal Tournament, Battlefield 2142.  Those games are long gone, but there must be something more modern.  Battlefield 1 looks cool and is only $10.   It's very pretty, but the network play is lame.  Players just pointlessly run around willy-nilly.  A bit of internet research finds two better candidates: Squad and Escape from Tarkov.   Squad looks good and teamwork is important. But upon reflection I realize that I can't play a game that requires talking on a microphone - my family - we are all working, studying or sleeping within earshot always, because Covid.  So I begin looking at Escape from Tarkov. I watched a v

I am Level 5. It has taken me nearly a month to reach this level. It has not been fun.